Woke up this morning feeling kinda meh. Remembered I saw that Aries horoscope thing floating around, so I dug it up on my phone. Said something like: “Take bold action today! Wear something red to boost energy. Start a new habit before noon. Avoid office gossip.” Figured, what the hell, let’s try it step by step.
Step 1: The Red Thing
Rummaged through my closet – found this old faded maroon t-shirt. Close enough to red, right? Threw it on under my flannel shirt. Felt stupid at first, like playing dress-up. But weirdly, when I caught my reflection later, I stood a little straighter. Placebo effect? Maybe. Still wore it all damn day.
Step 2: New Habit Nonsense
Stared at my sad desk plant while drinking coffee. Horoscope said “start before noon,” so at 11:47 AM I grabbed a sticky note and wrote: “Water Plant Every Damn Monday.” Slapped it on the pot. Felt ridiculous but also… weirdly accomplished? Like I tricked my brain into productivity.
Step 3: The “Bold Action” Part
Got to work and our project lead was waffling about deadlines. Normally I’d just sigh and scroll Twitter. But remembered the “bold action” crap. Cleared my throat real loud and said, “Yo, if we push the Jenkins build tonight we’ll regret it by Wednesday.” Dead silence. Then three people nodded. Boss actually said “Good point.” My inner chicken almost panicked.
Step 4: Dodging Gossip Landmines
Lunchtime, Karen from accounting starts whispering about Dave’s divorce. Almost leaned in – drama’s like caffeine for me. But remembered the horoscope warning. Just shoved fries in my mouth and mumbled, “Gotta take this call.” Walked away chewing. Felt like a spy avoiding poison.
How It All Turned Out
Honestly? Expected cosmic fireworks. Got subtle wins instead:
- Plant’s still alive (minor miracle)
- Project didn’t crash at 2AM for once
- Zero guilt about Dave’s messy divorce
- Red shirt survived coffee spills
Biggest takeaway? Horoscopes work like junk food – harmless if you don’t take ‘em too seriously. Might try tomorrow’s if I find another clean shirt.
