So this morning I grabbed my phone like always, swiping through notifications when this horoscope headline pops up about Aries career success in June. Honestly? First thought was “Yeah right.” But my boring spreadsheet job’s had me grinding teeth for weeks, so… figured why not test it? Worst case I waste a coffee break.
The Setup
Pulled up the full prediction while chewing toast. Said June favors Aries like me taking “bold moves” and “networking actively.” Scratched my head. Bold moves? This ain’t a superhero movie. But okay fine – decided to try two things from their list:
- Ask for that overdue raise my boss keeps dodging
- Reach out to 3 old contacts about new gigs
Putting It into Play
Step one was brutal. Cornered Dave (my manager) by the printer Monday morning. Heart practically thumping out my chest when I blurted “We need to talk salary.” Dude looked like I asked him to eat printer paper. Muttered about “Q3 budgets” and “company-wide freezes.” Got nowhere. Horoscope promise: 0, Reality: 1.
Step two was weirder. Messaged Tom from my last job Tuesday. Guy replies immediately – turns out his startup’s hiring. Sent him my resume. Wednesday morning? Interview invite. Thursday? Took a half-day sick leave (oops) to Zoom with them. Felt sneaky but… also kinda pumped.
How It All Crashed
Friday rolls around. Tom’s startup offers me 20% more salary. Awesome, right? Go tell Dave I’m quitting. Man loses it – starts yelling about betrayal and counter-offers. Whole office staring. Then… checks company policy. Realizes he can’t actually counter fast enough. Ends up slamming his office door. Total. Mess.
What Actually Happened?
So did the horoscope work? Kinda? Got a new job because I reached out. But asking Dave directly backfired hard. Made my last week awkward as heck. Lesson learned: Astrology might nudge you to act, but human chaos runs the show.
Sipping cheap wine tonight realizing: Maybe stars point at doors, but we’re the ones smacking into walls trying to open them.
