So this week I thought, what the hell, let’s see if them love horoscopes actually work. Saw that headline This Week Aries Love Horoscope: Top Dating Predictions Revealed pop up when I was doomscrolling Tuesday night. Normally I’d scroll right past, but figured, fine, I’ll bite. For science. Or boredom. Same thing really.
Finding the Damn Thing
First, I dug around to find the full prediction. Took ages ’cause I kept hitting paywalls and pop-up ads screaming at me. Finally landed on some site crammed with glittery stars and winking emojis. Felt like stepping into a 2003 MySpace page. Ugh. Forced myself to actually read the Aries part.
The Predictions Themselves
It basically said three things for us Aries folks this week:
- Expect a spark! Bold moves will pay off. (Whatever that means.)
- Old flames might flicker back! Proceed with caution. (Oh great.)
- Communication is key! Be clear about your needs. (Groundbreaking stuff right there.)
Alrighty then. Time to “test” these out like I agreed with my damn self.
The “Bold Moves” Test
Wednesday, met Lisa for coffee – friend of a friend kinda deal. Normally I’d be chill, just see how it goes. Remembered the “bold moves pay off” crap. So halfway through my cold brew, I leaned in like an idiot and said, “This place sucks. Wanna grab proper tacos instead?” Felt super awkward. Surprisingly, she laughed and said “Heck yeah!” Got decent tacos. Spark? Dunno. Food was good though. Prediction: Sorta right?
The “Old Flame” Debacle
Thursday night, guess who messaged outta the blue? Steve. We dated for like, five minutes two summers ago. Text said “Hey stranger, miss that laugh.” The prediction flashed in my brain: “Old flames… proceed with caution.” Rolled my eyes so hard, but replied “Hey, what’s up?” Got sucked into a 2-hour text spiral about his job drama and his mom’s cat’s surgery. Zero flirting. All whining. By midnight, I faked battery death. Flickered? More like a goddamn nuisance fire alarm. Prediction: Mostly annoying.
The “Communication” Attempt
Friday, met Alex for drinks. Nice person. Conversation felt… floaty. Like talking about weather patterns. Forced myself to “be clear about my needs,” just like the stars demanded. Said flat out, “Honestly? Not feeling that mysterious vibe. You actually enjoying this?” Alex blinked. Then admitted they were stressing about their rent due next week. Whole mood changed. We ditched small talk, had a legit real convo. Actually felt connected. Shocking, right? Prediction: Weirdly useful.
So… The Verdict
Ended the week feeling like I played bingo with fate. Some spaces hit kinda okay (tacos, real talk). Others made me wanna chuck my phone (Steve… ugh). Is it magic? Nah. Did acting like a slightly bolder, more direct weirdo make things happen? Yeah, maybe. Mostly it showed me sometimes you gotta just say the thing, stars or no stars. Won’t make reading these things a habit though. Still feels like mostly nonsense wrapped in glitter. But hey, decent tacos ain’t bad.
