So this month I decided to actually try following an Aries horoscope guide. Figured I’d document the whole mess while doing it. Here’s how that went down:
Step 1: Reading the Damn Thing
First I opened that monthly guide on my phone during breakfast. Scrolled through all that “navigate challenges like a pro” fluff. Noticed it kept shouting about Mercury retrograde crap. Honestly almost clicked away – sounds like excuses wrapped in star-talk.
Step 2: Picking the Action Items
Highlighted three things I could actually try:
1. “Avoid major decisions before the 15th”
2. “Channel frustration into creative projects”
3. “Schedule tough conversations after Venus enters Sagittarius”
The Actual Experiment
Monday: Boss dropped surprise deadline right after lunch. Normally I’d panic-agree. Remembered point #1. Actually said “let me get back to you tomorrow.” Felt wildly uncomfortable – like leaving food on my plate. But. Woke up Tuesday realizing I could shift two meetings to hit deadline. Mercury retrograde 1, Me 0.
Thursday: Got steamed when client changed requirements (again). Grabbed cheap watercolors instead of rage-emailing. Painted weird blobs till my hands stopped shaking. Looked like kindergarten art. Still better than writing “ARE YOU KIDDING ME” in all caps.
November 18th: Marked calendar for Venus Sagittarius day. Waited to confront messy roommate situation. Practiced lines in shower. Actually kept voice steady asking him to stop stealing my oat milk. He blinked first. Astrological timing? Beginner’s luck? Who cares – fridge is mine again.
Final Takeaways
- Horoscopes work kinda like road signs – ignore them and you might crash anyway
- Painting angry blobs is cheaper than therapy
- Oat milk diplomacy requires cosmic timing apparently
Will I do this next month? Depends if Sagittarius tells me to buy more paint.
