Woke up late today, around 9 AM, totally missed my alarm. Remembered it was Aries day so grabbed my phone while still in bed. Scrolled through that horoscope guide feeling groggy. Said something about “fiery energy” for love and “career breakthroughs.” Whatever that means.
Love Stuff First
That guide told Aries to be direct with feelings. Made me laugh cause last time I did that, my girlfriend thought I was being aggressive. Still decided to text her: “Morning, you looked hot yesterday.” Sent it before brushing teeth. She replied “??? You spilled coffee on me yesterday??” Not the vibe I wanted. Went to fix breakfast feeling dumb.
Career Attempt
The career tip sounded easy – “take initiative on pending projects.” Had this report due next week anyway. Opened my laptop and stared at that damn spreadsheet for 20 minutes. Got distracted by cat videos. Finally forced myself to email my boss: “Hey, got ideas to simplify the quarterly review process.” He replied: “We’re on version 12 already?” No breakthrough yet.
Noon Slump
Ate cold pizza for lunch. Horoscope said “wear red for luck” so I threw on this faded maroon t-shirt with ketchup stains. Went to buy lottery ticket at bodega. Old man behind counter smirked at my shirt. Bought a scratch-off. Won $3. Bought another one. Lost. Felt like an idiot standing there scratching cards.
Afternoon Mess
The guide said “networking opportunities after 3 PM.” Decided to walk to coffee shop downtown. Saw my ex’s brother there. Awkward! Made small talk about his dog’s skin condition. He looked uncomfortable. Mentioned some job opening at his company. Sounded boring anyway. Ordered black coffee. Spilled half on my “lucky” shirt walking out.
Ended the day watching baseball. Didn’t feel extra “fiery” or whatever. Girlfriend called later, still confused about my morning text. The spreadsheet’s still open on my laptop. Got a parking ticket walking to that dumb coffee shop. Horoscope days always turn out weird.