So this crazy zodiac compatibility question got stuck in my head last Tuesday while brewing coffee. Are April Aries and July Leo really a match? I decided to find out my own damn way instead of trusting those vague articles.
Step One: Finding My Guinea Pigs
Rummaged through my contacts like an idiot. Grabbed Sarah first – born April 12th, textbook Aries. She climbs mountains for fun and once screamed at a barista for messing up her oat milk latte. Perfect. Then begged Mike, my college buddy born July 22nd. Total Leo – posts gym selfies daily and owns three sparkly bomber jackets. Both single? Check.
Step Two: Operation Set-Up
Hosted a BBQ last weekend pretending it was “just vibes.” Secret plan? Lock them on my balcony for 30 minutes with beers. Forced social experiment 101. My notes app looked like a spy’s shopping list:
- 20:15: Threw sausages on grill. Mike flexed arm while flipping burgers. Sarah rolled eyes so hard I heard it.
- 20:30: Pushed them toward balcony. “Cooler air out there!” Mike immediately started fixing his hair in the glass reflection. Sarah kicked a potted plant by accident.
- 20:45: Peeked through curtains. Mike talked non-stop waving his hands. Sarah stared at her phone like it held state secrets.
- 20:55: Mike laughed too loud at his own joke. Sarah snapped “Are you done?” and stormed inside demanding hot sauce.
Epic Failure & Key Takeaways
They ignored each other for the rest of the night. Sarah texted me later: “Never invite him again. Has main character syndrome.” Mike? Sent me a voice note: “Fire sign solidarity but she’s WILD. Pass.”
My verdict after wasting perfectly good sausages? Astrology means squat if people act like stubborn mules. That fiery Aries-Leo “passion” everyone hypes? Nope. Just two roosters clashing in a tiny coop. Truth hurts, but at least my balcony smells like charcoal now.
Final Move: Deleted all zodiac apps. My sofa’s more reliable than star signs anyway.
