So this week I tried making horoscope stuff for Aries people, right? Woke up Tuesday morning scratching my head like “how do people actually do these weekly star sign things?” Just grabbed my laptop still wearing pajamas and dug in.
First Total Mess Phase
Straight up Googled like crazy – moon phases, planet positions, some weird symbols nobody understands. Notebook looked like my cat walked on it, scribbles everywhere. Pulled up three different astrology sites comparing Aries traits: “impulsive, likes challenges, bad at sitting still” – yeah sounds like my cousin Tony honestly.
- Wrote down planet stuff: Mars here, Mercury there – felt like doing tax forms
- Found old Aries notes from March – half were crossed out wrong
- Drank cold coffee forgetting it on desk for two hours
Tried matching planet junk to dates. Mercury retrograde something something? Forgot which planet rules Aries – freaking Mars obviously! Slapped forehead hard around lunchtime. Felt stupid staring at blank screen.
Figuring Out Actual Signs
Called my friend Chloe who reads horoscopes for fun. She goes “You mixed up Sun signs with Moon signs dummy!” while I heard her washing dishes. She walked me through basic Aries stuff:
- This week’s Venus thing = money talk problems
- Jupiter moving = family arguments incoming
- Full moon Friday = don’t start fights
Dropped phone twice taking notes. Couldn’t spell “Pisces” right – kept typing Pieces like the fish sticks. Rewrote dates three times checking different calendars. Accidentally used last Tuesday’s moon phase first draft – would’ve messed everything up bad.
Making It Sound Human
First version sounded like robot science report: “Mars enters fifth house causing inclination toward impulsive behavior”. Nobody talks like that! Changed it to simple warnings:
- Don’t yell at boss even if they deserve it
- Wait 24 hours before buying dumb stuff
- Call your mom before Sunday
Stuck sticky notes everywhere with key points. Rearranged advice order like six times – put money stuff before relationship junk. Sent rough draft to Chloe’s boyfriend (he’s Aries). He texted back “The Tuesday part feels like my ex nagging” – rewrote that whole section more chill.
Final Actually Useful Thing
Printed it Wednesday night – four pages shrunk to two simple lists. Added emojis so it doesn’t look so serious 🤬➡️💸 . Double checked moon dates with farmers almanac website. Important stuff I learned:
- Use normal words not astrology professor language
- Triple check planet dates – they move constantly
- Always say something positive or people feel attacked
Posted it Thursday morning before coffee. My neighbor (Aries) messaged “How’d you know I fought with my sister?” Felt proud even if I still don’t get what houses mean. Made extra copy taped to fridge in case I forget my own advice.
