Woke up this morning feeling kinda meh, but my daily horoscope habit kicked in. Grabbed my phone, swiped to the astrology app, and bam – Aries forecast for May 24th flashes up. The big bold prediction slapped me right in the face:
“Today’s cosmic energy demands ACTION! Best activity: tackle that messy garage you’ve been avoiding.”
Gulped my coffee like it was courage juice while staring out the window at that disaster zone. Honestly? My garage looked like a tornado had a party with a recycling truck. Hadn’t seen the concrete floor since maybe 2023. But hey, the stars said go for it.
Phase 1: The Pre-Battle Stare-down
Dragged my feet across the driveway at 9AM. Just stood there with hands on hips, mentally cursing past-me for stuffing everything in there. Took three deep breaths like my yoga app taught me. Pro tip: wear thick gloves when touching mystery boxes. Found a spider colony chilling in an old Amazon package.
Phase 2: Operation Sort-O-Rama
Dumped everything onto the lawn – instant trash mountain. Set up my war zones:
- The Keeper Corner (holiday decorations, kid’s art supplies)
- The Toss Pile (expired paint cans, broken drills)
- The “Why Do I Own This?” Box (single ski, inflatable cactus, 2003 phone books)
Dust bunnies attacked like furry commandos. Had to pause for a sneezing fit marathon.
Phase 3: The Great Purge
Called junk haulers when the toss pile reached waist-high. Made $32.75 at the recycling center for old beer cans. Felt like a money wizard. Sweat through two shirts discovering muscles I forgot existed. The inflatable cactus went to my neighbor’s kid – kid hugged it like a pet.
The Aftermath
Standing in that sparkling-clean garage at sunset? Pure magic. Could actually see walls AND floor. High-fived myself while chugging Gatorade. Stars nailed it today – cleaning sucked hard but damn that victory feeling? Better than three espressos. Proved when Aries energy gets channeled into grunt work, miracles happen. 10/10 would purge again based on celestial advice.
